Thursday, January 26, 2012

Self Deporatation--The Mitt and Newt Show

Self Deportation... An idea whose time may have come!

I just love watching these Republican Presidential candidate debates. It is great entertainment.

First there is Newt---If some news correspondent challenges your marital ethics, turn the table on them, and go after the questioner. Hypocrisy be damned. Use the path to the Presidency...the ultimate bully pulpit, to bully the press and rally the Republican base. If someone calls you a lobbyist, tell them you are an historian! ! Hey, it works! He won South Carolina.

And how about that Mitt Romney? You're right Mitt, we envy you. We are part of the 99%, and you are the 1% of the 1%! You are one lucky guy! You are paying 13.9% on your income tax while most of us pay 25% or more on a lot less income. Yes Mitt, you are blessed that your income comes not from wages, or the sweat of your brow, but from corporate manipulation, vulture capitalism, and borrowing to buy fire sale corporations at near zero percent interest (Thank you Fed....), re-inventing them, squeezing out the money, and selling them for huge profits!

You are one of those rich guys who we are supposed to be calling "Job creators". And the great thing about America is that our tax code rewards your type of "work" by granting you special tax loopholes and concessions that we poor working stiffs only dream about! No wonder you reject the label 1% and say it's envy! You are not campaigning for President to change it. You are running to preserve it. Who's kidding who? What a great country this is ( if you are in the 1% ! ) The best thing is, you even do your own laundry. What a regular guy. I bet you iron those nicely starched shirts too!

How dare anyone not genuflect at the altar of Vulture Capitalism. Job killers? It is Obama and the Democrats who are the job killers, not the tax loopholing, tax dodging , Cayman Island bank account holding , Swiss bank depositing, job creators! Let's get our facts straight here!

And your answer to the immigration issue was absolutely, stunningly, brilliant! How do we deal with the 22 million undocumented residents of this country who arrived in the land of opportunity by extra legal means? The answer? Self deportation!

Self deportation... What a great idea. We could take it one step further and maybe even urge those lazy food stamp consuming largely African Americans to self deport too! Back to Africa! I bet Newt would even agree with you. Imagine the cheers that would draw from the Republican base at the next debate.
Even better... Why not scrap the food stamp program altogether, take the money, and buy plane tickets to the homeland for the self deportees.
Food stamp problem... solved!

And while we are at it, why not urge self deportation to Europe for all those Socialist state advocating Un-American acting Democrats who believe in a fair and universal health care system.

The possibilities are endless. Just think...we could solve the Social Security system shortfall by giving plane tickets to all Baby Boomers who want to self deport themselves back to the insolvent countries of their forebears, like Greece, and Ireland and Italy! more diners or Irish pubs or Italian restaurants!

Just think of the convicted felons who, once out of prison, cannot find a job. The answer? Self deportation. Buy 'em a bus ticket outta town, just like the old time Sheriffs used to do. What possibilities this Self deportation concept portends!

I just love these debates. They amuse. They unenlighten. They are great fodder for the befuddled. Move over American Idol and Survivor. The Mitt and Newt show is on . It could even outdraw Beavis and Butthead in the Neilsens.
America, stay tuned. ...but remember...The whole world is watching.